I Choose Option #3

I've started doing this thing where I actually keep track of sleep cycles and when to go to sleep in order to wake up at what times and all that and it's going pretty great. The reason this is relevant is that apparently I have half an hour to kill before I should go to sleep, and I decided I may as well post on this blog that I'm 97% sure literally nobody reads. So here we are. 

First things first, let me tell you about my personal struggle with my laptop's "A" key. Nearly every time I press it, it either sticks, and  I get two a's, or it doesn't register that I hit it at all, and I get none. It's extremely aggravating, and quite useless. I don't even think I know any words that exist that have a double a. Except Aaron, but one of them is capitalized so it doesn't even work out. There's also a solid bar of eight lines running vertically down the entirety of my laptop screen in around a half inch range which is easily fixable by applying a small amount of pressure. Unfortunately, it's a laptop, so there's basically no way to fix that long term. #thestruggleisreal

As a slight continuation to my last post, I changed my degree (BSc in Natural Science with concentrations in Physics and Math, ooOo) and might be able to get into that architecture minor/possibly do internshippy stuff this summer which could be interesting. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'm either going to be graduating next year, doing a semester or two abroad, or taking an extra year to do the minor. Or maybe I'll just drop out and cry all the time, I've heard that's also an option. 

Fry Ends

I feel like I kind of suck at making new friends. I mean, I made friends at the university alright but part of me can't help but feel that the majority of those friendships started based only on the fact that someone liked/was attracted to me, was friendly to me, and then their friends just accepted me into their little groups because their friend was into me. Which really is not me trying to be egotistical at all, but rather just something sort of weird that I'm not really a fan of. I don't think I'm super great at making friends though so I suppose it's alright that it at least worked out somewhat. Now that I've been in a relationship for nearly two years, it's nice that some of those previously mentioned people are still my friends, so I may be wrong about their initial intentions anyway (wow I just said friend-related words a lot there).

Work has been pretty good for that at least. Getting to know and hang out with other females is a thing that doesn't get to happen a lot for me so I'm rather enjoying that... even if the girl that initiated hanging out is a lesbian and also was sort of into me. God, if I wasn't somewhat attractive maybe I'd actually just be a huge loser. Probably? I don't know man. Anyway, apart from the people I work with, work has been super incredibly shitty, BUT I'm finally starting to learn process and line stuff this Monday, which I am excited about. I guess I'll probably update on that after it happens, just in case the one or two people who for some reason find themselves reading this are overcome with curiosity.

Moving things in a different direction, I've decided I'd really like to pursue architecture. So, I'm going to see what I can do about squeezing a minor in that into my degree, and then hopefully head off to do architecture grad school things somewhere. I suppose I'll also update on that, but it might be a bit further down the road, especially if I forget about this blog for another year.

On a closing note, I'm really, really bad at Octodad.

Battle my Rones

So I decided to look at my blog for the first time in a while today...

while baking cookies
with pretty damn long hair (that is also green at the moment)
and I must say, 19 has turned out to be pretty alright.

Feels good man. Things have turned around since my last post.

Rattle my Bones

So far, being 19 has been pretty shitty.

Just thought I'd update on that.

I guess my hair is getting pretty long though, so that's cool.

I want to make cookies but I have no ingredients.

Sucks.

Chips and Salsa for Dinner, Bitches

                   ~

   Not having homework 

   I really don't remember

  What the fuck that's like 

                   ~

This has been a haiku about my life problems.

Convince Me Otherwise

It's odd to look at what people I used to be incredibly close friends with are like now, what they're doing, who they're seeing or who they're friends with. It makes me feel lonely, I suppose. Lonely in the sense that I feel like I don't have friends anymore, which is pretty stupid as I know I do. Sometimes it just seems like the ones I have don't want to be friends with me as much as I'd like. Even in my relationship, I feel like I'm just not very valued, maybe taken for granted. It's hard to say I suppose. I like to show people how much I care about them but it gets to be a bigger task when it never seems to be reciprocated. I know there are people who do care, it's just easy to forget, and easy to convince yourself otherwise when nobody is reminding you.

Such a Sad Fish Face

I get a bit scared thinking about the future sometimes. My future, more specifically. Astrophysics doesn't really seem to be a career with a bunch of job opportunities just leaping up at you once you graduate, but I think I'd like to stick with it regardless. Even if I have to take a year or two off after I graduate just to work and save up money to continue my education after I get a bachelors, I'd be down with that. It's easy to be afraid when everything seems to tell you that if you graduate and aren't immediately working in your field you're some sort of failure. It's easy to think so, at least. If I took engineering then maybe finding applicable jobs would be a bit easier and that would be a bit more true (though certainly not entirely), but I get the feeling I won't be quite so lucky with the whole space-physics thing. Either way, I guess I'm going to have to find out eventually.

Just gonna have to try not to fuck things up until then.

Also Bee and Puppycat. Soon.