Convince Me Otherwise

It's odd to look at what people I used to be incredibly close friends with are like now, what they're doing, who they're seeing or who they're friends with. It makes me feel lonely, I suppose. Lonely in the sense that I feel like I don't have friends anymore, which is pretty stupid as I know I do. Sometimes it just seems like the ones I have don't want to be friends with me as much as I'd like. Even in my relationship, I feel like I'm just not very valued, maybe taken for granted. It's hard to say I suppose. I like to show people how much I care about them but it gets to be a bigger task when it never seems to be reciprocated. I know there are people who do care, it's just easy to forget, and easy to convince yourself otherwise when nobody is reminding you.

Such a Sad Fish Face

I get a bit scared thinking about the future sometimes. My future, more specifically. Astrophysics doesn't really seem to be a career with a bunch of job opportunities just leaping up at you once you graduate, but I think I'd like to stick with it regardless. Even if I have to take a year or two off after I graduate just to work and save up money to continue my education after I get a bachelors, I'd be down with that. It's easy to be afraid when everything seems to tell you that if you graduate and aren't immediately working in your field you're some sort of failure. It's easy to think so, at least. If I took engineering then maybe finding applicable jobs would be a bit easier and that would be a bit more true (though certainly not entirely), but I get the feeling I won't be quite so lucky with the whole space-physics thing. Either way, I guess I'm going to have to find out eventually.

Just gonna have to try not to fuck things up until then.

Also Bee and Puppycat. Soon.