Friday, March 16, 2012

Hopeless Romantic or Optimistic Loner?

Dear internet,
Sometimes I really hate you. I do. I see all these things I can't have, or I don't have, I see all these people that look so fucking happy and it just makes me feel.. I don't know. I'd say depressed, only it isn't. It just makes me feel sad. Sad and alone. Then I see people who actually are depressed and that really doesn't help either because then I feel like I don't have the right to be sad because nothing's actually that shitty in my life. I mean there's that whole... situation.. but honestly I should just accept the fact that it can't happen. It won't, it can't, it's never going to. There, done. Back to why I hate the internet. I see all these pictures of people being happy together, looking at the stars, reading together, going to coffee shops and libraries, just being together doing whatever. And I want that. I want that so so so much. I want to live with someone. I want to be myself with another person. I want to hold hands and tell stories. I want to play video games together until four in the morning. I want to cook together, I want to climb trees and go for bike rides and sing, no matter how horrible we both are. I want to make things, build things, use our hands to make something. I want to plant trees and flowers. I want to dance in the rain at midnight in the middle of the city. I want to be alive with someone. And then I go look at the pictures of kittens.


"Some of us say we'd rather
have something than nothing...
but the truth is, having something halfway
is harder than having nothing at all."

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