Wow.

Wow.

Wooooooow.

Woooow.

Woow.

Wow.

Wow.

WOW.

Wow.

Fuck. 

          I just don't even know what to write anymore. You know that picture of the giant squid and the sperm whale all intertwined in their super hardcore battle? Maybe you don't let me see if I can find it... close enough. Anyways, that's what my insides feel like. Only my heart is the squid and my brain is the whale. Or maybe the other way around. I don't know. Mother fucking feels. I hate so many things sometimes. I hate being weak and I hate people and I hate you and I hate my laziness and I hate having to be nice and having to have emotions like this and I hate happiness that isn't mine because I'm stupid and jealous of things that I don't even want?? I guess I just don't want other people to have them? Honestly, what the actual fuck. I'm supposed to be a good person. People think I'm a good person, but I'm kind of just not I suppose? I try to be sometimes but it's too much fucking work and I don't know how the hell I'm going to keep up with school and everything now and not just peace out to the middle of nowhere forever. Why the fuck can't I just turn off my damn emotions! Maybe I'll pay someone money to eradicate my emotions for a few months via hypnosis or some shit. I'm honestly totally cool with just existing and studying all the time and having no social life so long as I don't have any emotions. HOLY SHIT GUYS THIS IS THE PERFECT SOLUTION. The sad part is I'm not even joking. If I could do that right now I actually would. I'd get shit done. Who the fuck cares if I have no friends or romantic life (not that I've fucking got much of one as it is) until July? Sounds pretty awesome if it'd get me through these next few months. Ugh just let me be a temporary robot please. That's all I want. Just for a while... 

I really fucking hope life isn't like this all the time.