Woah There

Alright just a one sentence post this time I promise because okay guys it's two in the morning and I don't know why I'm writing on my blog and not in my bed and why do I always get super hungry right before bedtime oh wait maybe it's because I'm always hungry ahhg my room is a complete disaster maybe I'll get up earlier tomorrow to fix it before going snowboarding which could potentially be fun if everyone doesn't ditch me again but hey oh well I guess it wasn't so bad going by myself and wow I'm lonely and fuck you Micah just kidding I love you come back please or you know whatever like that's ever going to happen and holy SHIT how do I let my room get this messy honestly I can barely walk on the floor and wow I should really work on my relationships with people except for the whole part with how I don't really give a fuck because I'm leaving anyways and I'm back at work I guess which is niceish because I made a bunch of moneys which I probably need and also finally did scholarship stuff like two days before the final deadline so yeah I probably don't even deserve any but whatever give me money and yep I don't really have anything else to say except we fucking got fruitopia on tap at work and it's OFF THE WAAAALLLL yeah it's tasty have a good day WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING GOODNIGHT

I'm Taking An Emotional Shit.

So I'm heading off to Calgary for a week-ish.
I think it'll be good for me. I think it'll be good to be away from everything, from everyone. I won't have to sit at home alone thinking of stupid things and... yeah hopefully I'm just going to stop thinking about all the shitty stuff I find myself thinking about all the time. I just need less time to myself to be miserable I think. It's like.. I want to be around people I enjoy being around (as most people do) but.. I just don't enjoy anyone I guess? And I like being by myself, but I'm lonely or something too. I need interaction but I don't want it. Well I do, but it's all complicated and boring and babooooons.

AND NOW FOR MY THOUGHTS ON TEN PEOPLE I KNOW WHICH YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT PROBABLY WHO KNOWS

1) Fuck you.
2) You are annoying as fuck.
3) You Can Piss Right Off Good Sir.
4) I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
5) You can remove yourself from my brain.
6) I'm glad you're a person.
7) Fucking pull yourself together. Seriously.
8) You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
9) Thank you for existing and sorry I suck.
10) You have not changed a bit. Except now you're hotter I guess?

I Miss You Like Dentist Appointments

I go a bit crazy when I realize it has been over eight months since I've seen you. That is... kind of a really long time. In fact, one would think that over such a large period of time it would be easy to remove a person from one's daily thoughts. One would think.

The sad, sad, stupid truth is, however, that getting you out of my head seems to be impossible.
Even my subconscious is screwing with me, randomly placing you in my dreams only for me to wake up bitter and disappointed.

I wish I had the last day of last school year to do over.

On the plus side, I've finally retained the knowledge of how to tie a tie nicely.

Change it All but Can't Change What We've Been

I CAN NOT STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG

I physically tried to, several times actually.
But I can't.
It's just not happening.
On the plus side, it's a damn good song to do calculations to.

Wow.

Wow.

Wooooooow.

Woooow.

Woow.

Wow.

Wow.

WOW.

Wow.

Fuck. 

          I just don't even know what to write anymore. You know that picture of the giant squid and the sperm whale all intertwined in their super hardcore battle? Maybe you don't let me see if I can find it... close enough. Anyways, that's what my insides feel like. Only my heart is the squid and my brain is the whale. Or maybe the other way around. I don't know. Mother fucking feels. I hate so many things sometimes. I hate being weak and I hate people and I hate you and I hate my laziness and I hate having to be nice and having to have emotions like this and I hate happiness that isn't mine because I'm stupid and jealous of things that I don't even want?? I guess I just don't want other people to have them? Honestly, what the actual fuck. I'm supposed to be a good person. People think I'm a good person, but I'm kind of just not I suppose? I try to be sometimes but it's too much fucking work and I don't know how the hell I'm going to keep up with school and everything now and not just peace out to the middle of nowhere forever. Why the fuck can't I just turn off my damn emotions! Maybe I'll pay someone money to eradicate my emotions for a few months via hypnosis or some shit. I'm honestly totally cool with just existing and studying all the time and having no social life so long as I don't have any emotions. HOLY SHIT GUYS THIS IS THE PERFECT SOLUTION. The sad part is I'm not even joking. If I could do that right now I actually would. I'd get shit done. Who the fuck cares if I have no friends or romantic life (not that I've fucking got much of one as it is) until July? Sounds pretty awesome if it'd get me through these next few months. Ugh just let me be a temporary robot please. That's all I want. Just for a while... 

I really fucking hope life isn't like this all the time. 

Potresti aiutarmi?

I just don't give a shit, and not in a good way.

BLOGGING IS FOR CHUMPS

                                                                                         ... I'm such a chump. 

Nail Hanging Mania

Welcome to the semester of hell.

Sorry to those of you around me who see me often. Heh. I'll attempt to refrain from complaining for the most part.

I have a job offer which essentially is going to let me design and paint signs and things for like, 15 dollars an hour. Which, don't get me wrong; I'd love to do, but I really don't know if I can make time for it. Especially considering having theatre in the second half of the year, and my course load... I don't know. I need to think about it. I have a meeting on Thursday so I guess I'll work things out better then.

Speaking of classes, I've gotten my marks back so far and I'm at about an 84-87% average, which is definitely relieving. Thank god for English... anyways, I just need to keep that above 81% this semester, which hopefully is not too great a challenge. It could be. But I guess I'll just have to put in the time and effort... *shudder*. Wish me luck.

WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE SO MANY HANGNAILS TODAY GOODNESS