So, as some of you may have heard, I sprained my ankle on wednesday.
I went to the hospital and all that jazz (because it was about the size of a golf ball- keeping in mind i have relatively small ankles) but as was suspected, twas only a sprain and I carried on without crutches because "Crutches are for the weak!". Anyways, being pretty much healed and able to walk without much trouble due to a device known as an "Ankle immobilizer", I thought I was just on my merry way back to the land of not having to limp! That was, until saturday rolled around aaand I fell down some stairs and sprained my OTHER ankle. Never in my entire life have I broken or sprained a single thing, then twice in one week. Honestly. This one's all sprained and swollen above my ankle, where the previous one was below. Now the old one's just all.. horrifically bruised looking. The whole ordeal is quite frustrating, but I suppose it could have been worse. Hopefully I will be walking without the assistance of crutches tomorrow.
Goodness, if I keep going at this rate I'm going to need a wheelchair by thursday.
Runcation - The act of weeding
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
ALL OF THE TIMES
Well today was fun (actually it kind of was).
Let me just fill you in, in a slightly unusual fashion.
Got up at the lovely hour of 5:45
Breakfast at Tim Hortons
Math retest time
Physics studying time
English - Speech writing time
Math
Physics 11
Physics 11 retest time
Remainder of Lunch
Fall down two foot hill and anihilate the ankle time
First half of Physics 11 for the second time time
Off to the Hospital yaaayy.
Hospital for a few hours
Informed of a pretty bad sprain, gotta buy some "Ankle immobilizer" brace thing
(PRETTY HARDCORE GUISE)
Home to finish speech (which turned out awesome)
Write this thing time
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Let me just fill you in, in a slightly unusual fashion.
Got up at the lovely hour of 5:45
Breakfast at Tim Hortons
Math retest time
Physics studying time
English - Speech writing time
Math
Physics 11
Physics 11 retest time
Remainder of Lunch
Fall down two foot hill and anihilate the ankle time
First half of Physics 11 for the second time time
Off to the Hospital yaaayy.
Hospital for a few hours
Informed of a pretty bad sprain, gotta buy some "Ankle immobilizer" brace thing
(PRETTY HARDCORE GUISE)
Home to finish speech (which turned out awesome)
Write this thing time
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
I am Constantly Drawing Triforces
Ladies and gentlemen(vimeo link today because I'M SO OBSCURE OMG), it's that time again. Bracelets. Bracelets everywhere. Because I only have to work like.. two days a week! Pretty exciting if I do say so myself. Also, I think I might actually be able to pull off joining badminton again this year, seeing as I shall hopefully be able to drive by the end of November. Even got my parents to agree that it'd be nice for me to have something that's not academic going on in my life. Fun stuff guise. Also ALSO, I do get to go to Wordfest after all! Which I am genuinely stoked about.
Anyways, off to do homework, make bracelets, eat dinner and head to Makayla's for the night.
Hope you all had a good day. Really. ^-^
Anyways, off to do homework, make bracelets, eat dinner and head to Makayla's for the night.
Hope you all had a good day. Really. ^-^
Monday, September 24, 2012
My Room Looks Terrifying
I don't think I should like you, so I probably won't. There's just a plethora of reasons I can see that it's never going to work, but that's actually alright. For now I'm cool with just sitting around admiring your awkward adorableness and freckles. Mother fucking freckles. How I love them. Anyways, I presume this is the best course of action all things considered. And hey, if one day you decide you like me, then huzzah, success. If you don't, hopefully it won't be too big of a deal.
My cat fell down the space between my bed and the wall. He couldn't get back out. It was like... the 127 hours movie, but with my cat. And a bed. Anyways, eventually I pried him out, no limbs lost. Maybe just some of his dignity, but I think cats have enough of that to go around regardless.
And with that lovely little piece of information, I bid thee farewell.
(If it wasn't obvious, farewell is definitely my favourite way to say goodbye)
Exsibilation - The collective hisses of a disapproving audience
My cat fell down the space between my bed and the wall. He couldn't get back out. It was like... the 127 hours movie, but with my cat. And a bed. Anyways, eventually I pried him out, no limbs lost. Maybe just some of his dignity, but I think cats have enough of that to go around regardless.
And with that lovely little piece of information, I bid thee farewell.
(If it wasn't obvious, farewell is definitely my favourite way to say goodbye)
Exsibilation - The collective hisses of a disapproving audience
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Expect the Best, Accept the Worst
You know what? I feel so much better. To be quite honest, I was a tad skeptical about the whole "LETS PUT DOWN ALL OF THE FEELINGS AND LET PEOPLE READ THEM YAY" But it all turned out better than expected. It would seem that the crazy missing just... doesn't happen anymore. Not to the same extent, by any means. I don't think about him nearly as much anymore and it's just so damn great! I just.. it all seemed like such bullshit (the holding feelings in thing and how letting them out helps or whatever) But it worked, by golly, it worked! Now I'm actually moderately happy. And I am pretty sure I get to go to wordfest. Which is really exciting. Also, I am currently listening to some early punk sort of musics. Pretty enjoyable. You kind of are too if you actually listen to them music links i put in sometimes. Now if you'll excuse me, I should probably do some physics and math and then maybe a bit of physics and english and then also probably some math. Just in case :3
I look forward to writing at you again soon.
Aeolist - A pompous bore who pretends to have inspiration
I look forward to writing at you again soon.
Aeolist - A pompous bore who pretends to have inspiration
Friday, September 14, 2012
Concerning That Guy with Glasses and the Orange Shoes
If we're being honest, I miss you all the fucking time.
Everything reminds me of you. It's actually pretty ridiculous.
"Oh, that guy has orange shoes. You had orange shoes."
"Hey, that guy's wearing glasses."
I don't know what I'm going to do if I see you again.
Probably just.. look at you. I'd want to talk to you, but something tells me you'd just turn around and leave.
It'd be for the best, like you said. You said a lot of things. Actually no, no you didn't. You didn't say nearly enough things. You almost said you loved me once, but you didn't even say that, really. Just implied it. You don't talk to me for days then when I finally try to say goodbye, you tell me not to say it. When I ask why, ask what the point of this all is, you told me "Love".
It was a cheesy thing to say, but it made my heart feel like dying. I wanted to believe that so fucking badly. You never texted me once after saying that. Granted I don't exactly love texting either, but at least it was something. I tried a few times, but I got nothing or basically nothing in reply. no goodbye, just.. nothing. I tried to forget you, but some lack of closure held me back, it was like some crazy old lady in the back of my mind kept telling me there was still a chance you'd talk to me, a chance that things could go back to the way they were. Sadly, crazy old ladies don't often know what they're talking about, and for a month and a half, you were gone.
The last time we talked, you told me you were just doing what was best for us, and that it was just as hard for you as it was for me. In the long run, I know it will be, but for now it's just poop. I also sincerely doubt this is as difficult for you as it is for me. I don't know why it's so impossible to get over you, but it's honestly messing me up. I thought when you said goodbye it would be easier (it was for a while), but now it's all the same. I remember when you said it. Goodbye, that is. Then I said I would miss you, and goodbye. You said you'd miss me too, and goodbye again, and then that was it. It honestly seemed mildly devastating at the time.
Then I'm thinking about goodbye, and the regret hits me like a deer caught in the headlights of a tank going warp speed. It was all so damn close. Inches away from everything I wanted, but those inches were made of titanium. There was only one way in and it was padlocked with a combination. you knew the code, but I wasn't willing to let you use it. Not when it would tear apart the rest of your life. I remember the day you told me you could do it, you could make it work, make us work. It was like someone lit a spark only to douse it with gasoline and somehow drown it rather than let the flame ignite, because I knew what it would mean for you. I wasn't willing to let you throw away half of everything else making up your life. I'm not worth your family, and that's what I need to keep telling myself. I want to go back to that day when you were going to kiss me and not turn away because I was afraid. I want to go back and change things, what I said, what I did. I keep telling myself I could have done things differently, I could have fixed things. But I couldn't have, really. Not anymore, that's for sure. And why should I! I'm fine, I only miss you every waking moment. I haven't even seen you for three months and I still think about you every single day. Oh my, I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't care, and I wish you would just get the fuck out of my brain, but I don't have anything to push you out with. Maybe that's what it's going to take, something else to think about, or someone. Unfortunately the likelihood of that these days isn't very high. First off I'd need someone comparable to you, which is a challenge in itself. Or maybe it's not, I don't even know anymore. I don't know why I'm writing this, or why I'm going to publish this, because these are all the things I don't tell people. These are the things I keep to myself because it's either too awkward or embarrassing or silly to talk about. But whatever. It's how I feel, and if you think it's crazy then you're probably pretty correct. I don't even know what I'm feeling, really. I don't know if I loved you because honestly I'm not even seventeen and so I highly doubt I have any inclination of what that's supposed to be, but it definitely feels like it. And let me just say.. right now it hurts like hell.
I'm sorry if you don't want me to write this, but I doubt you'd find out anyways. I need to do it. I need to explain all these feels. See? Even that reminds me of you, saying that.
But goodnight, even though I know tomorrow I'll think of you a million times again, then listen to a song that's not even sad but it'll make me cry anyways because it's just like that.
------
I don't know why you just read that or what on earth you're going to think of it, but it was somewhat satisfying to write, despite the resulting headache.
Goodnight.
Everything reminds me of you. It's actually pretty ridiculous.
"Oh, that guy has orange shoes. You had orange shoes."
"Hey, that guy's wearing glasses."
I don't know what I'm going to do if I see you again.
Probably just.. look at you. I'd want to talk to you, but something tells me you'd just turn around and leave.
It'd be for the best, like you said. You said a lot of things. Actually no, no you didn't. You didn't say nearly enough things. You almost said you loved me once, but you didn't even say that, really. Just implied it. You don't talk to me for days then when I finally try to say goodbye, you tell me not to say it. When I ask why, ask what the point of this all is, you told me "Love".
It was a cheesy thing to say, but it made my heart feel like dying. I wanted to believe that so fucking badly. You never texted me once after saying that. Granted I don't exactly love texting either, but at least it was something. I tried a few times, but I got nothing or basically nothing in reply. no goodbye, just.. nothing. I tried to forget you, but some lack of closure held me back, it was like some crazy old lady in the back of my mind kept telling me there was still a chance you'd talk to me, a chance that things could go back to the way they were. Sadly, crazy old ladies don't often know what they're talking about, and for a month and a half, you were gone.
The last time we talked, you told me you were just doing what was best for us, and that it was just as hard for you as it was for me. In the long run, I know it will be, but for now it's just poop. I also sincerely doubt this is as difficult for you as it is for me. I don't know why it's so impossible to get over you, but it's honestly messing me up. I thought when you said goodbye it would be easier (it was for a while), but now it's all the same. I remember when you said it. Goodbye, that is. Then I said I would miss you, and goodbye. You said you'd miss me too, and goodbye again, and then that was it. It honestly seemed mildly devastating at the time.
Then I'm thinking about goodbye, and the regret hits me like a deer caught in the headlights of a tank going warp speed. It was all so damn close. Inches away from everything I wanted, but those inches were made of titanium. There was only one way in and it was padlocked with a combination. you knew the code, but I wasn't willing to let you use it. Not when it would tear apart the rest of your life. I remember the day you told me you could do it, you could make it work, make us work. It was like someone lit a spark only to douse it with gasoline and somehow drown it rather than let the flame ignite, because I knew what it would mean for you. I wasn't willing to let you throw away half of everything else making up your life. I'm not worth your family, and that's what I need to keep telling myself. I want to go back to that day when you were going to kiss me and not turn away because I was afraid. I want to go back and change things, what I said, what I did. I keep telling myself I could have done things differently, I could have fixed things. But I couldn't have, really. Not anymore, that's for sure. And why should I! I'm fine, I only miss you every waking moment. I haven't even seen you for three months and I still think about you every single day. Oh my, I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't care, and I wish you would just get the fuck out of my brain, but I don't have anything to push you out with. Maybe that's what it's going to take, something else to think about, or someone. Unfortunately the likelihood of that these days isn't very high. First off I'd need someone comparable to you, which is a challenge in itself. Or maybe it's not, I don't even know anymore. I don't know why I'm writing this, or why I'm going to publish this, because these are all the things I don't tell people. These are the things I keep to myself because it's either too awkward or embarrassing or silly to talk about. But whatever. It's how I feel, and if you think it's crazy then you're probably pretty correct. I don't even know what I'm feeling, really. I don't know if I loved you because honestly I'm not even seventeen and so I highly doubt I have any inclination of what that's supposed to be, but it definitely feels like it. And let me just say.. right now it hurts like hell.
I'm sorry if you don't want me to write this, but I doubt you'd find out anyways. I need to do it. I need to explain all these feels. See? Even that reminds me of you, saying that.
But goodnight, even though I know tomorrow I'll think of you a million times again, then listen to a song that's not even sad but it'll make me cry anyways because it's just like that.
------
I don't know why you just read that or what on earth you're going to think of it, but it was somewhat satisfying to write, despite the resulting headache.
Goodnight.
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